its finally happened. the first completely unfunny loss edit. congratulations.
I think they somehow managed to make his facial expressions less dynamic than the B^Uckley original, astounding
thats not the worst part of this
the worst part is that even BUCKLEY has a better understanding of visual storytelling. He knew that he didnt need to say a word cuz as shitty and poor as the composition was, he got the information across without telling you a single word other than “loss”
Here Adam has such a lack of faith in conveying his joke that he has to flat out tell you its donut day, instead of just letting us figure it out ourselves from the context clues.
Like that feels so patronizing, and the source of the parody is already patronizing
After a protracted silence of deep concentration, young Donald hesitantly suggests a judgment on the issue of the bird that falls squarely at the end of his father’s pointed forefinger.
“Winner?”
Ruefully, Frederick Trump shakes his head. Despite his evident disappointment, he smiles at his son once more, directing his finger anew at an oak tree, ravaged by time and slowly losing its struggle against the wind and gravity.
Young Donald’s face briefly disappears into itself as he attempts to pluck a correct answer from the depths of his person.
“Loser. The tree is a loser,” he tells his father, self-assured in the failure of the tree to overcome the natural elements.
Again, Frederick shakes his head. The tree is still there, he explains. It refuses to admit defeat. The tree is a winner.
Much of their walk takes this shape. A finger extended. An answer put forth. A slow shake of the head or a smile of approval. The finger describes a dizzying constellation of objects: a moss-covered stone, the picked-at remains of a dead crow, a dandelion, the sun. Each falling neatly into the universe so clearly bisected by Frederick’s philosophical scalpel.
Comfortable with this rhythm, Donald becomes complacent. He begins to believe he understands the world. When he finds himself the target of his father’s finger, he refuses to answer, afraid his father will confirm it.
II
“It’s a butterfly,” Donald offers, confident in his knowledge of what a butterfly is.
His father shrugs, shakes his head. There are millions of butterflies, he says. What is a single butterfly, he asks.
“It’s a really good butterfly.” Encouraged by a subtle, semi-interested incline of the head he continues. “It’s the best butterfly, there is no butterfly like this anywhere. You need to see this butterfly.”
Frederick Trump smiles, urges him to go on.
“It is the only butterfly in the world.”
Around young Donald, the world begins to shine. He is in the most perfect place ever seen by man. Every rock the mightiest rock, every birdsong the most beautiful song. He is the happiest boy who has ever lived.
III
Donald is tasked by his gently enquiring father with evaluating a leaf, its veins glowing, backlit by the morning sun.
“I think it’s good. It’s beautiful. It’s the most beautiful leaf I’ve ever seen.”
Frederick Trump looks at him sceptically. Who are you, he asks, to tell me of the quality a leaf? You are just a boy.
Donald is crestfallen, but he sees his father’s manner is warm, not reproachful. If the leaf is beautiful to you, his father says, surely it must be beautiful to others. A glimmer of understanding reaches Donald’s eyes, their previous sadness quickly vanished as he accepts his father’s words.
“This leaf is incredible. Lots of people are saying it’s perfect. I’ve been hearing from lots of very smart people that you will never see a leaf better than this. That’s just what I’ve been told.”
Hi folks, and welcome to another Hardware Corner Review. Today we’ll be taking the Everhard 100mm x 3m Black EasyDRAIN Prejoined Polymer Channel and Grate through its paces. It’s often said that people go through life pretending to know what they are doing, but that is not true within a hardware store, where there are Real Men who Know Things, and those who stumble from emasculation to emasculation. The EasyDRAIN channel is available from Bunnings retailers for $53.90
Construction
The EasyDRAIN channel is composed of 3x1m sections with an allegedly removeable grate on top. The grate is sealed inside the channel by an ancient shithead curse. I applied so much force removing it that when it finally came undone it nearly flew over the fence into my neighbour Dennis’s yard. I can’t talk to Dennis without suffering mild to moderate anxiety since the day he bought a motorbike (the large loud kind). He is very happy and mostly beyond my comprehension. The EasyDRAIN channel comes in three colours: black, black with white grating, and terracotta.
Ease of Use
When I visited my grandfather in hospital, I told him the following joke:
A patient says to his doctor “doc, I feel terrible. Everything hurts and I don’t know why.”
The doctor takes one look at him and says “well, first of all, you have to stop masturbating”.
The patient replies, “why?”
“Because I’m trying to examine you.”
He liked this joke a lot. I didn’t want to convince myself that he was on his deathbed. He was a man who towed the materials to build a shed three thousand kilometers down the Australian coastline to his new plot of land, built the shed, and lived in the shed with his wife and four children while he built his house.
I cried when he died and I cried assembling the Everhard 100mm x 3m Black EasyDRAIN Prejoined Polymer Channel and Grate.
Quality of Instructions
The EasyDRAIN system comes with a link to Everhard’s online help system. To log on, first you must answer the question “What’s worse: that you inherited your fatalism from your mother and father, or that you developed it independently?” Unfortunately I was not able to progress past this step in the review period.
Modular Extras
When hardware is “modular” it is sort of like when a game has DLC, except if you don’t buy the right modules your house will collapse.
An essential extra is the Everhard EasyDRAIN 100mm End Cap, without which your drain will become inundated with concrete and you will need to rush back to the store where a 90 year old ex-carpenter will suck air through his teeth and tell you “of course you’re gonna need one of those”. It does not attach securely to the drainage channel, but is largely blameless in the process.
To secure the end cap in place you will need an Everhard EasyDRAIN 100mm Black Polymer Converter. Its role is to vaguely hold things together until immersed in concrete at which point it will fall apart and be concreted into place, becoming yet another thing in your life you cannot take back.
Join me next week when I recap all of the products my stepdad describes as “probably too powerful” for me. Until then, Happy Hardwaring!
“Flying from the Northern Atlantic coast of Brazil, we entered the Amazon jungle and flew to Manaus. Right there where the Amazon and Rio Negro meet, we landed for the night stopover in Tree huts. Curious kids came over in their canoes to watch this Spaceship, that had landed in their backyard, it took an hour to overcome their suspicious mind and meet us in our Catalina Z-CAT”
80 Years, a Tribute to the PBY Catalina. Hans Wiesman
There are a lot of bad ways you could spend an afternoon off, but one of the worst ways would probably be if you had to do a repetitive task for hours and hours while people watched. I wouldn’t say it’s the number one worst way to pass the time: for instance, finding out you had a number of terrible diseases from several different doctors over the span of several hours would be much worse. But if you had to spend your afternoon off collecting pine cones from a public pine tree and carrying the pine cones several metres to a wheelbarrow you would certainly be frustrated. If you couldn’t get the wheelbarrow closer than 3 or 4 metres away because there was a soft, grassy incline, your frustration would almost certainly increase, and while it seems possible you might gain some satisfaction from the knowledge that no members of the public would roll their ankle from stepping on a stray pine cone thanks to your efforts, it can be challenging to maintain that sense of perspective when you remember you could be spending your afternoon off doing something more enjoyable.
It would probably make the whole thing worthwhile if a modelling agency talent scout saw your confident stride while you were walking back and forth from the wheelbarrow to the pine tree and cast you as the chief model in a fashion show. It’d be incredibly cool if the fashion show was tomorrow, in Paris, and they had to take you straight to the airport, and you got to fly first class. Best of all would be if you had a great night’s sleep on the plane and woke up as the plane was descending into Paris Airport and when you walked in the fashion show everyone agreed you had an incredible gift. If that happened, and then you got paid for it as well, that would be amazing. If it led to a successful career as a model that fed into a TV presenting gig and you used your high profile to produce critically acclaimed new television shows it’d just be the cherry on top. If you amassed a fortune and used it for philanthropic ends you’d be about as happy as possible.
On the other hand, it would make the whole thing immeasurably worse if you saw a dishevelled old man walking into a cheap Indian diner right near where you were working and he looked exactly like your father who you haven’t seen for several years. If the old man walked like him, and was wearing cheap clothes to the cheap restaurant by himself because he only ever bought cheap clothes and ate at cheap restaurants and didn’t need other people to be happy - that would NOT feel great. If you stopped what you were doing to see if it was actually him and realised that it wasn’t, you’d feel like a stupid idiot on top of everything else. A stupid, sad idiot. Sometimes feelings you keep locked away inside can be released very quickly and effortlessly by the right combination of stimuli, which is not the recipe for a good time. It’d ruin your afternoon even more. That’s all but guaranteed.
That’s why people have jobs instead of the afternoon off. Due to that risk.
Mar29
🤗good🙏🏻morning🤙🏼clouds😭
Mar11
ocean 16-18 #oilpainting
Mar4
LOWEST LIQUOR PRICE GOAATTTEE #oilpainting
Well? (at Yarra Sculpture Gallery)
Hey, this post may contain adult content, so we’ve hidden it from public view.
